Ah, Grasshopper, Master Po is going to teach you of the symbiotic relationship between alcohol and life. Vodka, Russian for “little water”, is ideally a tasteless and potent mash of grain or, even better, potatoes. Little is needed to conceal the (somewhat turpentine) bite of hard liquor, and any number of ingredients will do the trick. Some are better than others, and so begins our quest.

Infused vodka is an art of simplicity and patience, and a precious little time spent in preparation will yield a memorable outcome. I delved into infusions a fairly long time ago, and really there is little to be learned outright, as information on such delicacies is somewhat scant. As it is, experimentation is the key to most successes, although I will divulge to you now my carefully guarded findings.

The best drinking occasions are, of course, social ones, and I chose the Title Bout of Lennox Lewis and Mike Tyson to concoct the marvelous potation known as Pepper-Infused Vodka. Hearty and “Manly”, this vodka thrives in the (often poorly-constructed) Bloody Mary. More occasions than I care to count have found me at a barstool ordering what was fated to be an overly Tabasco-spiced drink they dare to call a Bloody Mary. Pepper infusion avoids the vinegar which makes tomato more or less Ketchup, and instead makes for a spicy, very warm, vegetal, and hearty beverage worthy of a bloody boxing match.

There are two major parts to this equation–the “mix” and the vodka. Smart folks keep the burn in the vodka–don’t try to make it up with Tabasco.

Pepper-Infused Vodka

• 1 liter Vodka (Skyy preferred, as it’ll taste the same as Absolut at 3/4 the cost, or Absolut or Stoli’s if necessary)
• Heaping handful of Pasilla or Poqueno peppers, seeded and cored (about 3-4)
• Round handful of Serrano peppers, seeded and cored (about 14-16)
• Round handful of Fresno Chilis, seeded and cored (about 8-10)
• 4-6 Habanero peppers, seeded and cored
• 1 Teaspoon cracked black pepper
• 1 Teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1/2″” slice all peppers and add ingredients and vodka to a large glass pitcher
• allow 45 min, remove habenero peppers
• vodka will intensify over time, 1 hour minimum, no maximum time…
• Strain if and only if served “”straight”", otherwise add directly to shaker and pour.

Best Bloody Mary Mix

• 1 lemon, juiced, fresh
• 1 lime, juiced, fresh
• 32 oz tomato juice
• 1 oz worchestershire sauce
• 1 tablespoon fresh grated horseradish
• 1 oz tabasco
• 1/2 oz celery salt
• 2 oz beef broth
• Combine and refrigerate overnight

To make the Best Bloody Mary, shake 1/3 pepper infused vokda and 2/3 Mix w/o ice, and then pour into salted 16oz glasses (and generous ice) with olives, dill spears, celery, lemon and lime wedges (you can add mushrooms, smoked meat slices, pickled asparagus, pearl onions, etc. for extra flair and over-achievement).

Some may cry that this is too spicy. For a crowd-pleaser of no dispute, add a large sprig of Fresh Tarragon to your mix, omit habanero, half horseradish, or omit double Fresno chilis in favor of serrano, and add a few chopped cactus leaves to your vodka.

But what if it’s a swimming party or a sweltering day at the lake fishing? Simple, don’t choose pepper infusion then, genius. Instead, choose from a couple delights of my design perfected at the once-esteemed Rogues Gallery. Fruit makes for a light, sweet, and versatile alternative.

Fruit-Infused Vodka

• 1 liter Skyy Vodka, as above
• Enough complimentary (aka delicious) fruit to fill the vodka from “top to bottom”
• Prepare, combine and wait for at least 24 hours. The color will be evident in a very short time–the flavor will not. Time pays in fruit infusions. Think of them (minus sugar) of liqueurs meant for mixing. A good suggestion, for instance, is a mixture of 70% Strawberry, 20% orange, and 10% kiwi–it makes for a damn fine vodka after a few days. When the fruit is white, it’s done, more or less.

If you wish to mix a light drink, just add sprite, that’s all you’ll need. This vodka is also dreamy added to any and all fruit juices.

If you prefer to drink a light and tasty vodka all on its own, I beg you to at least avoid the sour puss face, and add 2-4 oz of corn syrup (cane sugar clouds badly) per liter. As such, this fruit-infused vodka can be sipped easily over ice.

I made a bastardized Best Bloody Mary for the Tyson-Lewis Fight. I didn’t end up like Tyson did, face down on the floor, but it stands to warn: the vodka is so fucking hot that there’s no way you can taste the alcohol when it’s made this way. Thankfully, these are also so filling that you cannot get wasted drinking them like you would say, straight vokda. Beware the fruit-infused vodkas…you could end up doing some jungle-juice tribal dance naked in public and, unless you are some gorgeous babe, I’d just prefer you don’t.

In the end, you can buy “flavored” vodkas, such as Citron or Kurrant. Faced with some “well” vodka for mixing or shooting, I’d take the Absolut or Skyy, or pass for a beer if it’s unavailable. There are a precious few establishments who take their drink as seriously as their edibles, M’s Pub of Omaha for one (the only source of Strawberry-infused vodka throughout my travels), but for any who can discriminate slowly-smoked treats over painted-on grille-marks…one taste should be all you’ll require.

(Reprint OF 6/8/2002 Article)